The most unhinged email you've ever read.

PLUNK!

As soon as you opened this email, you fell through a trap door and landed in a cold metal chair. In front of you... A GIANT RED BUTTON:

Beyond the big red button... a completely bastardized AI version of me, standing in a tuxedo with my arms crossed:

"So, uh... what does the big red button do?" you ask.

I stare at you, blank-faced. No answer.

"Ok... can I go then?"

"...."

"...."

"...."

"I mean, will it open a doors or someth-"

"IT'S A MAGIC BUTTON!!!" I shout. "IT WILL TELEPORT YOU TO A MAGICAL PLACE!!!"

"Oh - um... where will it take me?"

"IT WILL TAKE YOU TO..."

"Ahhhh, I see" you say. "So this is a promotional message for your webinar?"

"I MEAN... YEAH... DUH... BUT LIKE, I'M USING THE TACTICS I'M GOING TO TEACH IN THIS WEBINAR TO GET YOU TO JOIN. SO LIKE.... YOU SHOULD PRESS THE BUTTON TO SEE HOW I DO THIS FOR MY CLIENTS TOO. YA' KNOW?"

"Is there another way out of here?"

"NO. NOT UNLESS YOU CAN JUMP 9 VERTICAL FEEL IN THE AIR BACK UP THROUGH THAT TRAP DOOR."

"Got it. So I guess I'm just going to..."

Talk soon,